Romance scams: the story changes, the request for money doesn't

The rule that covers every version

The FTC sums it up in one sentence: never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven't met in person.

That sounds obvious written down. It is much harder after weeks of daily messages from someone who seems to understand you. Romance scammers are patient. They build trust first, sometimes chatting several times a day, and the request for money comes only when it feels like helping someone you care about.

The numbers show how well it works. In 2022, nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam to the FTC, with $1.3 billion reported lost and a median loss of $4,400. And most scams are never reported at all.

Where it starts now

The old picture was a dating site. Reports to the FTC say social media has overtaken it: in 2025, nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam said it started on a social media platform. Romance scams that began on social media accounted for $298 million in reported losses that year.

The FTC also reports that scammers read your profile and shape their act around it. Whatever you like, they like. Whatever you are looking for, they are ready for too.

A common next step is to move the conversation somewhere else. In detailed 2022 reports, about 40% mentioned the scammer moving the chat to WhatsApp, Google Chat or Telegram.

The lies they tell

The FTC lists the stories it sees most. The details change; the shape doesn't.

They can't meet you. There is always a reason. They are working abroad, on an offshore oil rig, in the military far away, or with an international organization. The FTC says a faraway military base is the most popular excuse, and the excuse is often built into the fake identity from the first message.

They need money. Once they have your trust, a crisis appears: medical bills for them or a relative, a plane ticket to finally visit you, a visa, or fees to get them out of trouble.

They want to do you a favor. This version doesn't ask for help at all. They are a successful investor, often in cryptocurrency, and offer to teach you. Any money you "invest" goes to them.

They sent you a package. Something valuable is on its way, but it is stuck, and you need to pay "customs" or another fee to release it. There is no package.

They tell you how to pay. Wire transfers through companies like Western Union or MoneyGram, gift cards with the PIN read out, money transfer apps, or cryptocurrency. These are chosen because the money is hard to get back. In 2022, cryptocurrency and bank wires together made up more than 60% of reported romance scam losses, and gift cards were the most frequently reported payment method, named by 24% of people who lost money. Our gift card scam guide explains what to do if that is how you paid.

When the romance becomes an investment

The FTC's 2026 report describes a pattern that is now common: the scammer casually offers investment advice and draws the person onto a fake investment platform.

The same report describes how those platforms work. They look real. You create an account, see your balance grow, and may even withdraw a small amount, which builds enough trust to put in more. There was never any real investment. The FTC adds that some people who lost money this way were then targeted again, by "recovery" services that promised to trace the money for a fee.

This is where a link is the weak point, because the whole scheme depends on you opening one. Before you sign up anywhere a new friend sends you, paste the address into our checker. We open it in a browser that is not yours and tell you where it really goes, how new the site is, and whether it asks for a login or a payment. A trading platform registered a few weeks ago, recommended by someone you have never met, is the pattern the FTC describes.

And the FTC's advice on investing is simple: never let someone you met on social media direct your investment decisions.

When it turns into a threat

Some scammers persuade people to share intimate photos, then threaten to send them to their friends and family unless they pay. This is sextortion. The FTC reported that these reports increased more than eightfold from 2019 to 2022, and that people aged 18 to 29 were over six times as likely to report it as people 30 and over.

If someone is trying to extort you, the FTC's advice is to report it to the FBI.

How to check, before money moves

If you suspect someone you met online, the FTC suggests:

1. Stop communicating with them.
2. Talk to someone you trust. Do your friends or family have concerns? Listen to them.
3. Search their job plus the word "scammer." For example, "oil rig scammer" or "US Army scammer." See whether other people tell the same story.
4. Do a reverse image search of their profile picture. If it shows up with another name, or with details that don't match, that is a sign of a scam.

If they've given you a phone number, an email address or a name, you can also look it up on our Check Seller page to see whether anyone has reported it. No reports doesn't mean they are real; it only means nobody has told us yet.

If you already sent money

1. Contact the company you paid through, or your bank, right away. Whether it was a gift card, a wire transfer, a credit or debit card or cryptocurrency, tell them you paid a scammer and ask them to refund your money.
2. Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
3. Report the profile to the dating app or social media site where you met.
4. Be wary of anyone who offers to get your money back for a fee. That is the second scam the FTC warns about.

If you were sent to a website, you can report it here so the next person who checks the address sees your report.

Trusting someone is not a mistake to be ashamed of. What matters now is acting quickly.

Sources: FTC: What To Know About Romance Scams · FTC Data Spotlight: Romance scammers' favorite lies exposed (Feb 2023) · FTC Data Spotlight: Reported losses to scams on social media eight times higher than in 2020 (Apr 2026)